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Books : Computers & Internet : Business & Culture : Humor
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Jim Norton is a pervertin the truest sense of the word. The physical equivalent of a tall slug, he pays top dollar for massages with happy endings and is fascinated by shitty sitcoms and fat girls. He is also, at times, racially offensive and morally repugnant. He spares no one in his comedy -- least of all himself.
Now, in this outrageous, blisteringly funny collection of essays, Norton tackles the topics that are near and dear to his heart: from public events like the legendary Voyeur Bus incident on the Opie and Anthony Show, which culminated in all involved being taken to jail, or seeking a hug from his childhood idol Gene Simmons, to deeply private moments, including a teenage Jim's embarrassing poetry-writing attempts while in rehab, and his inexpensive sexual experience with an unwashed MILF (a Monolith I'd Like to Forget). His stories are raw, searingly honest in their attention to detail, and most of all, hilarious.
Filled with personal photos and nearly fifty candid and uncompromising essays, Happy Endings is one of a kind...and probably best read on an empty stomach.
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Managing Humans is a selection of the best essays from Michael Lopps web site, Rands In Repose. Drawing on Lopp's management experiences at Apple, Netscape, Symantec, and Borland, this book is full of stories based on companies in the Silicon Valley where people have been known to yell at each other. It is a place full of dysfunctional bright people who are in an incredible hurry to find the next big thing so they can strike it rich and then do it all over again. Among these people are managers, a strange breed of people who through a mystical organizational ritual have been given power over your future and your bank account. Whether you're an aspiring manager, a current manager, or just wondering what the heck a manager does all day, there is a story in this book that will speak to you. You will learn:
- What to do when people start yelling at each other
- How to perform a diving save when the best engineer insists on resigning
- How to say "No" to the person who signs your paycheck
Among fans of Michael Lopp is the incomparable Joel Spolsky, cofounder and CEO of Fog Creek Software:
"What you're holding in your hands in by far the most brilliant book about managing software teams you're ever going to find".
This book is designed for managers and would-be managers staring at the role of a manager wondering why they would ever leave the safe world of bits and bites for the messy world of managing humans. The book covers handling conflict, managing wildly differing personality types, infusing innovation into insane product schedules, and figuring out how to build a lasting and useful engineering culture.
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Join us, intrepid explorers, as we journey once again into the depths of the Penny Arcade archives, facing eldritch curses and monstrous perils aplenty in our quest to unearth the ancient treasures of the year 2004 A.D.! Marvel at the mysteries laid bare within - at these tales of epic gaming, appliances gone bad, square-dancing blood feuds, and so much more! Face, if you dare, the ominous foreboding of The Last Christmas, the challenging depths of Twisp and Catsby, and the poignant tragedy of The Wandering Age!
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Love Manga? The newest features of Manga Studio help you bring your ideas to life! The tools available in the latest version of this powerful program make it easy to turn your computer into your drawing board, and Manga Studio For Dummies makes it easy to get started.Discover how to use Manga Studio to begin creating comics in manga or Western styles, add color to your creations, and share them with your adoring public. It-s a breeze once you know your way around the program. Manga may have begun in Japan, but Manga Studio For Dummies is written in plain English, and shows you how to:
- Build and use page templates
- Rough in your comic with penciling techniques
- Work 100% digital, or use a combination of digital and traditional tools if you prefer
- Work with layers, rulers, and panels
- Add speech bubbles and sound effects text
- Ink your work and add tones
- Prepare your creations for print or distribution on the Web
Written by a working digital artist, Manga Studio For Dummies covers both Manga Studio Debut and EX versions. As an added bonus, it even gives you a peek into the world of manga and comics in general. With the help of Manga Studio For Dummies, you just might find yourself among the comic artists whose work populates the Web and gathers thousands of fans!
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Whether you are an experienced Flash designer or developer looking for a guide to doing animation in Flash, or a novice to Flash who is looking for an effective way to create and distribute animations, this book will prove invaluable to you. Covering every aspect of Flash animation, the book is a fast-paced yet thorough review of the Flash animation process. Written by the Emmy-Award winning team at ANIMAX, this book not only reveals the step-by-step process followed by one of today's leading Flash animation studios, it gives you valuable tips and tricks to take your Flash animation to the next level. Divided into three phases of production (pre-production, animation, post-production) this book breaks the Flash animation process into smaller, more manageable steps. And because the authors approach the animation process from various perspectives (such as producer, animator, and editor) the book balances many of the real-world issues facing today's Flash animators, from artistic to technical to financial. The book starts off by looking at planning and designing an animation project, including working out your goals, and putting together character libraries and storyboards. Next up we look at the production phase, which includes using plug-ins to make your work more efficient, implementing your animation, and adding special effects. Finally, we look at post-production work, including how After Effects can be used effectively alongside Flash for tasks such as camera mechanics, how to make Flash not look like Flash, and tips and tricks from the experts. Whatever the reason, like millions of others around the world you've become interested in Flash animation. And you've come to the right place to learn more. This book is compatible with pretty much any fairly recent version of Flash.- Covers the full process of Flash animation, through preproduction, production, and post production
- Covers many practical techniques, including creating character libraries, using plugins, and camera mechanics with After Effects.
- Written by the Emmy award winning ANIMAX studios team
What you'll learn
- How to effectively plan an animation project
- How to put together storyboards
- How to create elegant character libraries
- How to set up your .fla file, ready for animation to commence
- How to make more efficient use of your time with plugins, where to find good plugins, and how to create your own
- How to animate, frame by frame, or using tweens
- Why After Effects can be better than Flash for some tasks.
- Effective After Effects Techniques, such as camera mechanics
- How to make Flash not look like Flash
Summary of Contents
- Chapter 1 - The Project Plan
- Chapter 2 - Character Libraries
- Chapter 3 - Storyboards and Animatics
- Chapter 4 - Setting Up Your FLA
- Chapter 5 - Plug-ins and Extensions
- Chapter 6 - Frame by Frame Animation
- Chapter 7 - Animating With Tweens
- Chapter 8 - Animation Special Effects
- Chapter 9 - Why Use After Effects?
- Chapter 10 - After Effects and Camera Mechanics
- Chapter 11 - Making Flash Not Look Like Flash
- Chapter 12 - Tips and Tricks
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OHMYGODDIDYOUSEETHAT?!? So, anyway, I'm sure you stopped by to find out what kinds of Penny Arcade goodness we will be lavishing upon you with this latest collection. Oh, and you came for the cinnamon almond biscotti, of course. But mostly you came because you can't get enough of the smash-hit web-comic Penny Arcade. Well, my friend, do we have the goods for you! All the Penny Arcade web-comics published online in 2003, a smorgasbord of commentary courtesy of Gabe and Tycho, and more bonus material than you can shake a pigeon at! Huh? Oh, sorry, did I say "pigeon?" I meant to say "stick." Sorry, but that bird is still really creeping me out. You can tell it's totally planning something. Can't you see it watching us, with its eyes!?! Man, birds are weird...
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Verily, the heroes of Penny Arcade return in the second volume of valiant chivalric deeds of brave heroism, heroic gallantry and gallant bravery! Forsooth! Sir Gabe and Sir Tycho return in Epic Legends of the Magic Sword Kings! Collecting all the Penny Arcade strips posted online from 2001 and 2002, Volume 2 includes creator commentary, a sketchbook section and an introduction from somebody sort of famous! If you haven't heard of Penny Arcade, the most poplular online comic ever, it might not be too late to salvage whatever reputation you have and get in on the fun all the cool people have been having. We won't tell anyone.
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Installing Linux on a Dead Badger (and Other Oddities) contains a dozen stories to amuse any fan of technology humor or science fictional dark comedy. Many of the stories are what Green Man Review has dubbed "cyberzombie humor"; the title story is one of the most popular features ever posted at the acclaimed science fiction magazine Strange Horizons. The satiric tales are accompanied by 14 black-and-white illustrations from DE Christman and Malcolm McClinton.Teen Linux gang mayhem. Trolls gone wild. A vampire's guide to management. Your corporate network and the forces of darkness. And much more ....
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Before the term hacking became associated with computers, MIT undergraduates used it to describe any activity that took their minds off studying, suggested an unusual solution to a technical problem, or generally fostered nondestructive mischief. The MIT hacking culture has given us such treasures as police cars and cows on the Great Dome, a disappearing door to the President's office, and the commencement game of "Al Gore Buzzword Bingo." Hacks can be technical, physical, virtual, or verbal. Often the underlying motivation is to conquer the inaccessible and make possible the improbable. Hacks can express dissatisfaction with local culture or with administrative decisions, but mostly they are remarkably good-spirited. They are also by definition ephemeral. Fortunately, the MIT Museum has amassed a unique collection of hack-related pictures, reports, and remnants. Nightwork collects the best materials from this collection, to entertain innocent bystanders and inspire new generations of practitioners.
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The Facebook Book, by Harvard alums and early Booksters Atwan and Lushing, follows in the fine satirical tradition of The Official Preppy Handbook and The Hipster Handbook, full of anecdotes (true and semi-true), tips (useful and useless), and other insights, including chapters on the Ethics and Etiquette of using the 'Book, what your profile really says about you, and a Facebook dictionary (which defines for the uninitiated terms like "frenemey" and "fauxmance"). The Facebook Book will appeal not only to undergrads, but also high schoolers (to whom the site was recently opened), savvy parents, and anyone who's tapped into Web 2.0 culture and counterculture.
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This humorous book is for those who work in Information Technology (IT) and for those who have IT done to them. Service Management is all the rage in IT at the moment, hence "ITSM". The leading description of ITSM is ITIL(r). This book is not about ITIL. Really. Real ITSM(tm) is a tongue-in-cheek satirical look at what the real-life practices might be, as compared to the idealised models in frameworks like ITIL or COBIT or ISO20000 or ... "[My wife] read the introduction and said it was the first IT book that held her interest past page two" Change Manager, postal service "I experienced numerous moments of amusement, humor and outright hilarity, which made reading this book at my desk during work hours a bit difficult." Bob Grinsell For more on Real ITSM (and more samples from the book!) come to the Real ITSM world at www.realitsm.com
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A collection of E-Mail Jokes that have been sent to me over the years.
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Wizards? Lizardmen? A dungeon? In PARANOIA? Sure. Not only can your players get blown up, back-stabbed, betrayed, hosed, incinerated, crushed and repeatedly executed, but in this mission they can also get turned into a collie, devoured by a dragon, munched by a tiger, chopped in half by a gargoyle, soul-sucked by a spectre, drowned, then ripped apart by killer penguins. PARANOIA is a reincarnation of the Good Old Days. PARANOIA has lots of action and mayhem, lots of bizarre and implausible oddities, lots of unconventional problems requiring unconventional solutions, ample opportunities for improvisation and humor, and a freewheeling and irresponsible attitude toward rules. We Famous Game Designers trace the game s humble beginnings back to stupid, cheerful dungeon crawls where we gathered loot and vorpal swords as we tumbled into pit traps, swapped riddles with sphinxes and hewed the heads from many an orc. It is with a deep nostalgia and heart-felt pride that we return to plunder the rich resources of our primitive origins and transform them into a dream PARANOIA mission. Evil wizards. Loathsome servitors. Torchlit subterranean corridors. Fireballs. Wandering Monster Tables. And Our Heroes, caught between The Computer and the Forces of the Unknown.
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Even Grues Get Full is the fourth collection of the hit geek comic strip User Friendly by J.D. "Illiad" Frazer. Written with fresh, dry humor and an amusing vividness that brings the cast of characters to life, the comic strip is loved and read by millions around the world, from professional technologists to eight-year old wunderkinds, from 83-year old grandmothers who miss their Commodore 64s to patient spouses of born programmers. The comic strip is packed with references to geek interests, from obscure movies to old computer games, yet non-geeks are able to enjoy the story lines and character quirks, from Erwin's acerbic humor to Miranda's constant angst; from the Smiling Man's Machiavellian machinations to A.J.'s dysfunctional naïveté. At the center of this lies Dust Puppy, the strip's gentle-hearted mascot and the character who has endeared himself to readers everywhere. In this book, join the antics of the characters once again as Stef contends with an enormous Tequila worm, Mike is tormented by Mr. Cola, and the techs move shop into an abandoned missile silo! Also included in this collection are the 9/11 tribute cartoons that were widely praised for their clear and simple pathos. Called "Dilbert for Geeks" by Wired magazine and considered to be one of the few consistently intelligent and socially aware cartoons on the 'Net, User Friendly remains one of the most popular destinations for geeks and non-geeks alike. This book is a sure hit with anyone who works with computers or for anyone who lives with someone who works with computers!
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From skate-boarding dogs to Arnold Schwarzenegger photoshopped into a swimsuit and sat on George Bush’s lap >>FWD This Link brings together the biggest distractions of the past decade into an addictive user-friendly Rough Guide. Rhodri Marsden, Technology columnist for the Independent and guru on the webs weirdest, shares the coolest virals and hoaxes and the funniest YouTube clips. Discover the unsuspecting internet stars, and the reason why we loved them from the Star Wars Kid to the Numa Numa guy. The guide is packed with the webs most entertaining wildlife including fainting goats and frisky donkeys. Let’s not forget the power of the email and those living to regret clicking the “send” button, only for their heart-felt love letters to be splashed across the press the next morning. Those wonderful websites that have you coming back again and again, brow-furrowing collections, online museums and shopping sites that defy belief – they’re all here to keep you amused online when you should be working.
Warning: This book will not help you clear your Inbox.
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What happens when three girls working as secretaries discover that the company they are working for is planning on launching a product that will make millions of secretaries redundant? They turn into Luddites!Essex blonde Sheila Bright, feisty Geordie redhead Caroline ("Caro") North and patrician, black Rodean-educated Roberta ("Bobbie") Stone all work as secretaries for "Computers, Communications and Cybernetics." But their employer is planning on launching a new product called the Virtual Secretary - a combined Virtual Reality headset and smart software that can effectively mimic the function of a real secretary - and without needing wages! Realizing that this is likely to throw them and millions of other women out of their jobs across the world, they decide to sabotage the project!
This is a hilarious account of what three determined young women will do to keep their jobs - and what friends will do for one another!
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Let’s face it–we all do geeky things, from checking e-mail obsessively to playing video games to tripping over our own feet. But here’s your chance to find out just how much of a geek you really are. With 1,000 questions for every area of your life–from childhood to lifestyle to entertainment to sex (you met your wife in a Web chat room–3 points), Are You a Geek? helps measure your precise geek quotient. From challenging intelligence quizzes to testing your dating compatibility with “Geekline,” Are You a Geek? lets you in on the secrets that separate the geeks from the grown-ups. Or the nerdmeisters from everyone else…