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Books : Entertainment : Humor : Hunting & Fishing
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Outrageous, raw, and painfully funny true stories straight from the life of the actor, comedian, and much-loved cast member of The Howard Stern Show—with a foreword by Howard Stern.
When Artie Lange joined the permanent cast of The Howard Stern Show in 2001, it was possibly the greatest thing ever to happen in the Stern universe, second only to the show’s move to the wild, uncensored frontier of satellite radio. Lange provided what Stern had yet to find all in the same place: a wit quick enough to keep pace with his own, a pathetic self-image to dwarf his own, a personal history both heartbreaking and hilarious, and an ingrained sense of self-sabotage that continually keeps things interesting.
A natural storyteller with a bottomless pit of material, Lange grew up in a close-knit, working-class Italian family in Union, New Jersey, a maniacal Yankees fan who pursued the two things his father said he was cut out for—sports and comedy. Tragically, Artie Lange Sr. never saw the truth in that prediction: He became a quadriplegic in an accident when Artie was eighteen and died soon after. But as with every trial in his life, from his drug addiction to his obesity to his fights with his mother, Artie mines the humor, pathos, and humanity in these events and turns them into comedy classics.
True fans of the Stern Show will find Artie gold in these pages: hilarious tales that couldn’t have happened to anyone else. There are stories from his days driving a Jersey cab, working as a longshoreman in Port Newark, and navigating the dark circuit of stand-up comedy. There are outrageous episodes from the frenzied heights of his coked-up days at MADtv, surprisingly moving stories from his childhood, and an account of his recent U.S.O. tour that is equally stirring and irreverent. But also in this volume are stories Artie’s never told before, including some that he deemed too revealing for radio.
Wild, shocking, and drop-dead hilarious, TOO FAT TO FISH is Artie Lange giving everything he’s got to give. And like a true pro, the man never disappoints.
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From award-winning author Mark Kurlansky comes a look at our earth's disappearing fisheries as seen through the lens of America's oldest fishing port.
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Sir Fartsalot’s on a quest to defeat a villain most foul!Things really stink in the Kingdom of Armpit. King Reginald the Not Very Realistic has had it up to here with his naughty son Prince Harry, who loosens the tops on all the Royal Pepper Shakers, teases the moat monster, and prefers magic tricks to rescuing fair damsels. Even Sir Bedwetter can’t rein in the prince’s Royal Clowning Around!
Enter Sir Fartsalot—the bravest, boldest, FARTIEST knight in all the land! Sir Fartsalot’s on a quest to solve the riddle of the Foul West Wind—a green, ghastly odor that turns up wherever danger’s lurking. Misbehavin’ Harry decides to play the biggest— and boogeriest—prank of all time! He convinces Sir Fartsalot that The Booger, a frightful, dreadful, repulsive villan, is on the prowl. Harry, Sir Fartsalot, and the knight’s old buddy Sir Knotaclew set out on a hilarious quest to rid the world of the Dreaded Booger, Once and for All!
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Back on Earth with nothing more to show for his long, strange trip through time and space than a ratty towel and a plastic shopping bag, Arthur Dent is ready to believe that the past eight years were all just a figment of his stressed-out imagination. But a gift-wrapped fishbowl with a cryptic inscription, the mysterious disappearance of Earth's dolphins, and the discovery of his battered copy of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy all conspire to give Arthur the sneaking suspicion that something otherworldly is indeed going on. . . .
God only knows what it all means. And fortunately, He left behind a Final Message of explanation. But since it's light-years away from Earth, on a star surrounded by souvenir booths, finding out what it is will mean hitching a ride to the far reaches of space aboard a UFO with a giant robot. But what else is new?
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Don’t look around, but the corporate and political powers that be want you to put this book down, right now. It definitely is NOT on their approved list.
Swim against the Current is one of those books that the power elites don’t like seeing in stores, much less in your hands - not merely because it challenges their established order, but especially because our book reveals paths that folks like you can use to escape their rigid, hierarchical structures and discover a bit more satisfaction in life.
They prefer that you pick up one of those escapist novels over there across the store, rather than finding out that the greatest escape of all can be from stultifying conventional wisdom. We Americans are constantly harassed into thinking that we can’t break the mold that those in charge have made for us. But as a friend of ours puts it: “Those who say it can’t be done should not interrupt those who are doing it.”
It’s the uplifting stories of mavericks that we tell here. They’ve broken free of the corporate tentacles, free of business-as-usual politics, free of top-down elites. They’re figuring out new ways to do commerce, ways to create political channels that empower grassroots Americans, and ways to live their lives.
As these folks show, resistance is not futile . . it’s fertile. Join the fun! Happy listening!
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More humerous observations and insights into the agonies and ecstacies of hunting, fishing, and camping by the author of They Shoot Canoes, Don't They?and other celebrations of life in the wild.
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JO LAROUCHE HAS lived her 13 years in the California desert with her Aunt Lily, ever since she was dropped on Lily’s doorstep with this note: This is Jo. Please take care of her. But beware. This is a dangerous baby. At Lily’s annual Christmas costume party, a variety of strange events take place that lead Jo and Lily out of California forever—and into the mysterious, strange, fantastical world of Eldritch City. There, Jo learns the scandalous truth about who she is, and she and Lily join the Order of Odd-Fish, a collection of knights who research useless information. Glamorous cockroach butlers, pointless quests, obsolete weapons, and bizarre festivals fill their days, but two villains are controlling their fate. Jo is inching closer and closer to the day when her destiny is fulfilled, and no one in Eldritch City will ever be the same.
From the Hardcover edition.
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Ponder, if you will ...
Why are tennis balls fuzzy?
How come birds don't tip over when they sleep on telephone wires?
What makes yawning contagious?
Why, oh why, do roosters have to crow so early in the morning?Pop-culture guru David Feldman demystifies these topics and so much more in When Do Fish Sleep? -- the unchallenged source of answers to civilization's most baffling questions. Part of the Imponderables® series and charmingly illustrated by Kassie Schwan, When Do Fish Sleep? arms readers with the knowledge about everyday life that encyclopedias, dictionaries, and almanacs just don't have. And think about it, where else are you going to get to the bottom of why Mickey Mouse has only four fingers?
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From the gene that causes people to age prematurely to the "bitter gene" that may spawn broccoli haters, this book explores a few of the more exotic locales on the human genome, highlighting some of the tragic and bizarre ways our bodies go wrong when genes fall prey to mutation and the curious ways in which genes have evolved for our survival.
Lisa Seachrist Chiu offers here a smorgasbord of stories about rare and not so rare genetic quirks--the gene that makes some people smell like a fish, the Black Urine Gene, the Werewolf Gene, the Calico Cat Gene. We read about the Dracula Gene, a mutation in zebra fish that causes blood cells to explode on contact with light, and suites of genes that also influence behavior and physical characteristics. The Tangier Island Gene, first discovered after physicians discovered a boy with orange tonsils (scientists now realize that the child's odd condition comes from an inability to process cholesterol). And Wilson's Disease, a gene defect that fails to clear copper from the body, which can trigger schizophrenia and other neurological symptoms, and can be fatal if left untreated. On the plus side, we read about the Myostatin gene, a mutation which allows muscles to become much larger than usual and enhances strength--indeed, the mutations have produced beefier cows and at least one stronger human. And there is also the much-envied Cheeseburger Gene, which allows a lucky few to eat virtually anything they want and remain razor thin.
While fascinating us with stories of genetic peculiarities, Chiu also manages to explain much cutting-edge research in modern genetics, resulting in a book that is both informative and entertaining. It is a must read for everyone who loves popular science or is curious about the human body.
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Shortly after amateur sleuth Tess Camillo discovers a rattlesnake under the bed of her San Diego home, another lesbian is killed with a snake. Police worry that they have a herpetophile serial killer on their hands. Neither Tess nor the police make much progress until a psychic contacts Tess, offering clues. With curiosity, humor and chutzpah, Tess confronts a rapist who raises rattlers, a nurse who fishes with strange bait, and a well-endowed scarecrow before she solves the case. Along the way she must face a breast cancer diagnosis and subsequent mastectomy. Breezily written, but with a rare, emotional undercurrent, this is the debut of a true new mystery star.
A Jersey native, Morgan Hunt's stint in the Navy brought her to San Diego, where she lived for 27 years. Now a resident of the Pacific Northwest, this cancer and mastectomy survivor is at work on the next book in the series. Visit the award-winning www.morganhuntbooks.com for more information.
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A rollicking comic romp by the author of Skipped Parts and Jimi Hendrix Turns Eighty.
Rowdy Talbot isn't the world's greatest bull rider. Not even close. But he lives by the cowboy code, and he never forgets to take off his cowboy hat during the national anthem.
When Rowdy wins the rodeo in Crockett County, Colorado, he celebrates his triumph with two young Frenchwomen he meets in a local bar. The next morning, when he discovers that the two have left for Paris with the championship belt buckle he won, Rowdy does what any true cowboy would: He hops on a plane to the City of Light to retrieve it.
What follows is a comic collision of cultures and personalities. In Rowdy in Paris, Tim Sandlin has concocted an unlikely but engaging mŽlange of characters: disaffected French revolutionaries, a turquoise-peddling CIA operative, and a middle-aged courtesan, all caught in a plot to destroy an American fast-food chain. At the center of the chaos is Rowdy himself, who finds as he searches for the belt buckle that there's another world beyond the back of a bull.
By turns smart and satirical, biting and engaging, Rowdy in Paris is a surprisingly moving story about what it means to broaden one's horizons by opening one's heart.
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Disney/Pixar Studios, the vanguard film production company responsible for the revolution in computer generated animation, brings us its latest creation in Finding Nemo. This underwater adventure stars a shy clownfish on a mission to save his son, Nemo, who has been taken from their home in the coral reef.DK and Pixar have teamed up again to bring animation fans an essential visual guide to the film, detailing the creative process behind the scenes and showing readers everything they might want to know about the characters, story, imagery, and magic of the next hit family film from the creators of Monsters, Inc., Toy Story, Toy Story 2, and A Bug's Life.
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An eccentric best friend, a leaky Chihuahua, a teenager in trouble, and a workaholic husband with a gorgeous new colleague. Those are the ingredients for Diann Hunt's wise and funny story about growing...well, older...with grace.
Midlife isn't a crisis for Maggie Hayden until the day a former classmate fails to recognize her--and her world starts to spin out of control. With an empty nest, a body that's heading south (generating heat waves all the way), and a marital spark that seems to be sputtering, she knows she has to do something. But what? Exercise? Romantic dinners? Herbal supplements? A job? She tries them all, with mixed success-but nothing seems to squelch that underlying worry that her best days are behind her.
Can Maggie come to terms with her new life and learn to trust what she cannot see? Can she reclaim her marriage and find a new sense of purpose? Can she discover a miracle cure for the aging process?
Well, two out of three ain't bad!
And the fun of this particular journey is just the whipped cream on the double-shot mocha.
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Three bestsellers in one delightful volume--at an unbeatable price! With his own particular brand of wry tongue-in-cheek humor, Patrick F. McManus spins riotously amusing slice-of-life stories of men, women, and their adventures in the great outdoors. The laughter will start right at the clever titles: A Fine and Pleasant Misery, Never Sniff a Gift Fish, and They Shoot Canoes, Don't They? Full of enjoyable exposés such as "All You Ever Wanted to Know About Live Bait but Were Afraid to Ask," "Psychic Powers of Outdoorsmen," and "The Night Grandma Shot Shorty," they'll give readers hours of pleasure. McManus takes the wildly unpredictable aspects of outdoorsmanship and reveals, with humor and wit, the pitfalls and triumphs of man (and woman) versus nature.
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"For Love of Wildness" is Terry Grosz’s eagerly anticipated sequel to the stories he told in his first book, "Wildlife Wars." Picking up where he left off, Grosz, who was a conservation officer for California and the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service for more than 30 years, begins this new book with his move from the state to the federal level, where the cases are often bigger and more complex. Grosz’s stories are action-packed, yet always infused with his love of wildlife and the great outdoors, and he makes the urgent point in his book, as he did in his career, that our failure to protect our fragile natural resources is the same as stealing from our children and our children’s children."Having been unable to put the first book down until the last shot was fired and the last poacher was clapped in irons, I’m eagerly awaiting more—from the safety of a reading lamp." —Ed Dentry, Denver Rocky Mountain News
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More than fish tales in this delightful book, readers will discover stories about the special relationships that develop through fishing-between parents and children, between friends and lovers, between fisherman, nature, and the elusive fish. Fishing is a common thread in many lives, and this book shows the strength and importance of those threads-whether your passion is fly-fishing, bass fishing, deepwater fishing, or just casting a line on a hot summer day.
Chapters include: First Cast, Small Fries, The One That Got Away and Hooked For Love.
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Ed Quigley’s fly fishing tales embrace yet transcends the fly fisher’s world much as Bryson’s A Walk in the Woods transcends the hikers’ world. Quigley takes his readers to remote Labrador, to Alaska, Scotland, Ireland, the Florida Keys, to a Pepsi shack on the Catawba in the Carolinas, to a tackle shop no bigger than a rooster’s nest on 42nd street, to Pennsylvania’s Kettle Creek. It is a journey suffused with the sizzle of sirloins on a Coleman stove, the fragrance of Cohiba cigars, with vintage wine and Budweiser. It is a romp in the outdoors filled unforgettable characters like Mr. Earp, a 100 % West Virginian and 50% Cherokee; and Mr. Cotter, the quintessential NY cop turned fly fishing gentleman. Quigley’s pursuit of trout, salmon, bonefish, bass and tarpon will bring smiles to the lips of fly fishermen and anyone who loves the company of rivers.